end of 2014 with you

after having that perfect time in october 2014 with him in several cities, spending days on the beach and in the big cities, I surprised him by visiting him on November 19th. I will never forget that shocked face. how happy we were! It has been a perfect decision that I have made right after I had came back to Germany. We had almost 7 days , full of joy, spending together, knowing we would see us again a months later. he actually had planned a surprise too, even earlier than me. his plan was to come on december 18th instead of 20th, like he had told me. but i got to know it accidentally, so we both looked forward to december 18th.

after a couple of really hard exams we finally got to see each other then! that was tomorrow before 3 weeks actually. it was so damn good to hug him again. see his smile again. hear his voice right next to me, feelin his warm hands touching mine. and the 18 days with him were absolutely perfect! we got to spend christmas and new year together. the first day waking up next to him made me think i was still dreaming. i woke up, saw him sleeping peacefully next to me. i dont know how to put it into words, it's almost impossible to describe this feeling. that friday I had 3 hours of school, I went to school with him, he met Jessy, Natalie and Hannah again, handing out homemade (perfect) Börek and headed back home through the cold rain. I remember how excited I got to see him again after school! luckily school passed fast and I could hug him again. even now , almost 3 weeks later, it feels like yesterday. yeah, time passed. so incredibly fast! :( we had lunch at my grandma's home. salmon and noodles, and he loved it. (hehe, that night before he tasted her chickensoup and he adores her cooking i guess) . we ate so much these weeks! thats why i gotta loose the kilos now, healthy eating and sport. I was running yesterday and my legs still hurt as hell.
back to the friday, i remember we went to the christmas market that night, tried mushrooms with garlic sauce and cheese sauce and ate bread with beef and onions. and he liked the atmosphere there as much as i do. he got to feel how christmas was, experienced it for the first time and he really loved it. saturday we went to the city again, buying some presents and stuff. christmas was near. that evening we went to the bar, had spicy selfmade wraps and felt in love with baileys on ice. also we adored that r8 in the parking area (scream). on sunday we were ice skating with jessy and lux (jux) which was sooo much fun! in the evening we went to the club. I drank way too much. and only the first hour there was enjoyable. too full, too much dramas with the people there. we all didnt rly like it there and we ended up in mcdonalds, having a cheeseburger, playing dumb ways to die.
finally back at home we hugged for hours again, laughed, loved, felt asleep.
it was monday then, i dont really remember what we did that day, probably went to the city again? I think so, we were there pretty often with his bus ticket that mum got him. i think we also got baileys that day and met h in the evening, had some emotional moments and now he knows whats up with them both. i love how understanding and tolerant he is. i adore that about him everytime. that night we baked cookies and watched lotr part I. good, but way too long these movies!
tuesday, december 23rd, we had a greaaaat dinner at Hannahs home. it was delicious, and the night was full of harmony. we had our own friends-xmas-eve , shared presents and laughs, even mert got polish sweets and beer from jess, who was more than happy about that giant penguin baby.
the next day was christmas eve, with marvin, peter, mum and him ofcourse. it was so enjoyable and we all were super happy! there were great presents. mert got the best ones actually, a watch, a drinking game and a J&J giftcard. mum got amazing shoes, peter got wine, marv got a book and speakers from mert (they r great).

these days we ate more than ever. on the first christmas day we visited dad and he met him for the first time, in the evening we had chinese buffet, on the second christmas day we had turkey. then we went to the city again and he changed that watch to a way more awesome one! (lakey lol) that sunday was a bad day somehow. too much thinking in combination with hormones. but whatever , every other day was absolutely amazing with him. on monday we finally got our car.it was no audi, sadly, yet a very nice vw golf, and after i burned myself with hot coffee in mums car we finally got to drive it, on our way to nadia! we 3 went to dortmund that day, shopping, he spend his J&J money, Nadia and I were shopping in Primark. that night we watched a funny movie and spontaneously decided to go to amsterdam the next day! In august we had been there already and it had rained allday, but not that december afternoon! It even was sunny. and  we met his school friends there, it was a funny day. driving with him is fun, with loud music and funny , weird singing we r always laughing and enjoying the moments. yet he got that mushrooms that i dont like to see in his ahnds at all.

 whatever, the next day it was new years eve and he had to try them. it was fine at first. he began to laugh at literally everything and the effect showed more and more. it was creepy somehow, and he felt that i didnt feel good about it. whatever, he got his lesson the next day and i still feel sorry for him thinking about it.. he felt really damn bad and we were so scared that he couldve get poisened or smth. but luckily he wasnt. that first january day of 2015 was so sunny and gorgeous, we had spend the first seconds in new year together and that was a fantastic feeling. yet we were really tired from that night and that unlucky morning, we stayed home, chilled, and watched the last part of lotr. the next day, january 2nd, we visited his mum in Hannover! since hannover was the place of goodbyes but also our hellos, it felt different going there for just visiting someone, and i saw the shopping malls for the first time. it was so cool to see her, here in germany, and the coolest was taking her out for dinner in bielefeld, together with my mum. yeah, that day we drove that way 4 times, to hannover, back to bielefeld, and bringing her to hannover again. after that we finally returned, again singing and dancing in the car. at home we tried the small nargile i got from hannah for xmas. the next day was great, cause we went to amsterdam a second time! i was so happy that hannah natalie and jessy came with us. full car, a day full of laughter and too expensive pizzas, non working cupcakes and mint water. we spend alot of time in forever 21, but somehow i was so tired that day, thought of bed, cuddling, talking about the amazing time. also it was the last day with our car, that black vw that grew to our hearts already(...)

Amsterdam truly is an amazing place to go to, especially with good friends. it was already january 4th then. time passed so damn fast, im saying that every time, but these 18 days really passed faster than ever. and we gave our car away, and on the last evening together we went to 'el corvo' with mum only. it was good.and then the last night came, the last whispers at night when he woke up, the last hugs and the last kisses. the next day passed too fast too, and realizing he would leave felt like a big , dry and cold thing inside of my throat.
i coudlnt stop crying that last hour. but saying good bye we both had a smile, a smile through tears, but it was a smile, cause we would see ach other again, anyway. and thinking of it now, that time was truly a gift, christmas with him, new year with him, every day with him , and im so thankful for having such a great and inspiring person in my life.

And I see it burn when you bring me sunlight.

Eventhough it's friday again already (time flies so damn fast lately!) I have to mention, that the last weekend was absolutely perfect and we had tons of fun! I just love night like that. Nights on Jessy's scooter, driving fast, not hearing anything but the wind in your ears, closing your eyes and feeling weightless with the scooter going faster, just driving straight, somewhere else. It's like feeling free, she said, and she's right. So we drove hours and hours last weekend, first on Saturday night, right to the cinema where we (tried to) watch Anabelle, the newest horrormovie. I must say, that movie was great, for a horror movie, but im just not made for that kind of films - i literally saw 10% only - the other 90% i spend with hiding face and ears , shaking , that's how scary it was! anyway, right after that we drove again, it was freaking cold, singing Maroon 5 songs, feeling how the air becomes icy at night, winter is coming obviously. I actually am a total winter and fall hater. yet, sunny days stay sunny days, and sunny days in winter are amazing too. sun makes me happy. That Saturday  night we might have drunken a little too much of selfmade mojito's, but no doubt; it was hella funny! Just love this girl and all her imperfect perfections. she makes me laugh everytime. and hanging around with her is great everytime. 

On that sunday then we took these photos. again we drove, looking for a good place to shoot. and it was sunny again that day, cold but sunny. just when we finished driving around in the middle of a forest (yes, we drove into a forest, with a scooter) sun hid behind the trees. yet the light was great. the mood was great too (surprisingly great on a sunday afternoon) and we took this fresh pictures! dancing to summer songs that bring back summernightmemories, sea salt scent and beach feelings is perfect. especially on november days, where nothing else is more needed than a sweaty hot, 30°C and blue sky day.

throwback vienna

Today before exactly 2 months the biology, art and education-science major courses stayed in Vienna for a week. Its incredible how fast time has passed since then! I still remember not sleeping til we had to be at school at 5 am on that very September morning. We expected Vienna to be kinda boring, since the other courses went to London (and we really had wanted that!), but it was so so so much better than we thought in Austria. The sun was shining every single day, it was hot, we even got sunburned. We walked way too much  everyday until my feet felt so painful I had to bite my lip. It was really an amazing time. Eventhough we had a program everyday and walked hundreds of miles ; we really got soooo much to see. 

The best was our room constellation ofcourse. Kris, Hannah, Jessy and me. 4 dorks, hyper active crazy and weird girls who woke up laughing, went to breakafst laughing and fell asleep laughing: everything was amusing and exciting that week. We got mistaken for being drunk by our teacher who told us that alcohol is strictly forbidden but ofcourse we hadnt drank anything (except that one night when we wanted some cocktails, but that really wasn't much at all). We are just fun to be around!
That boat tour was great and funny. And everyday we took pictures with Hannah's one-way-camera (she showed them to us some weeks ago, they r great and sum up that great time perfectly!) Everyday we got to see many beautiful buildings, places, museums.. historical, artistic and musical stuff. We also went to the Vieanna theatre where we got highly dissapointed: 4 hrs of a boring story with a german that we couldnt understand. We went out after the first 2 hours that had felt more like 2 years; and ate in our favourite mcdonalds to calm down after that dissapointment.

 We all really miss the days. No homework, no school, laughter, great food, great people, great weather - we were a fantastic team. Every night we dressed up nicely , listened to those 4 songs (Bang bang, Overdrive, Touch and Break Free..) and chose a nice restaurant to eat at.

the map that leads to you

our trip was magical. exciting. amazing! a trip that felt like being away for 2 months yet it passed so damn fast. from being on the coast at 00:00 drinking malibu while fishing - to hanging around with a cute cat on our own lovely beach that looked like paradise to me - we had a time full of joy and laughter. there was no day that started without a big smile or a good laugh. we visited several cities, starting with 3 days in Istanbul. being back to each other felt more overwhelming than ever. we had our own little kitchen, a rather dangerous traffic over there and a bunch of new impressions. after those 3 days we traveled down to Ayvalik and had a fantastic day on a Greek island. I missed the sun. while it was around 10°C in germany I was able to wear short pants and a top and still it was almost too hot. I told myself i could live like that til the end of my days -  with sunshine from 7:00 in the morning til 7:00 in the evening. It was stressing to change hotels and places almost everyday; but it was great to see so much stuff, so many impressions and to make so many experiences. it was a real trip. it was real traveling. after that 2 days in the one-room-hotel in Ayvalik (which was basically a bed only) we went on to stay in Izmir, a famous city, a city which was crowded and modern but it made me feel comfortable and amazingly happy for some reason. We dressed up nicely and looked for a good restaurant to stay and eat - ended up in mcdonalds though. I dont know; we are so same. spending time together again, day and night, made us come closer with every second. We know each other more now, and its like experiencing my soul in the body of someone else. Its like we have the same wishes and the same weird thoughts, we laugh at the same silly stuff and make the same strange jokes.

After Izmir we finally went to Didim. That paradise, as i called it. hot weather, nonstop sunshine, a hotel 1m close to the sea and alot of inspiring moments. There were hours full of happiness, spontaneus actions, good food, full tummies, alcohol, emotions and funny movies. Didim really impressed me. It felt like summer would never end over there; and as you can imagine - leaving was kinda sad; since we still couldn't make a fire on the beach to cook our own, caught fish. Fishing is kind of a new passion for us now. We talked about it so often and really did catch fish in that beautiful sea down there. After Didim a 12 hour bus ride waited for us. Lazy and inpatient as we are , we booked a flight from Izmir to our final destination - Ankara, his hometown. That was much easier that sitting on uncomfortable seats for half of a day. Ankara was great, different, and his home felt like mine after the first minutes.